Critical Rebuttal-ing

Gustave Francois Lasellaz,
Young Seamstress with Kitten

So little kitty Hera seems to be settling in just wonderfully. I spent my lazy Sunday morning watching the Tale of Desperaux on Netflix, and Hera kept stalking and attempting to catch all of the mice and rats on the screen! It was the cutest/most infuriating thing ever, and I naturally melted and laughed the whole time. She’s just so darn adorable. I’m so glad this little rambunctious kitten found me :) she has SUCH a big personality!

In other news, I’ve discovered that sewing silk chiffon is a colossal pain in the ass, but the fabric is worth the effort because it’s just so gorgeous and flowy and ethereal that I can’t imagine using anything else in my wedding dress. Layered over the champagne crushed taffeta, the overall dress should turn out well, especially with the Venice lace trim I’ll be adding along the edges and seams…which brings me to a brief rant.

Yes, I am making my own wedding dress. I would also like to make my bridesmaid’s dresses. Many of my friends (to include my three bridesmaids, who will be sporting my handiwork, and thus arguably are the most important voices in the matter) are hugely supportive of the idea, saying they’re excited to see the end result and think that making the dresses will be even more meaningful. However, some people are rather critical, saying that my wedding day is not my personal art show, and that making a wedding dress is a huge undertaking. So what follows is my rebuttal to each of the primary complaints I have been fielding from certain individuals. (Side note: love you, Mom!)

1) But it’s SUCH A BIG PROJECT!

I know that making a dress of this scale is a huge undertaking. Hello, I’m not an idiot (just ambitious). I have several motivations for a project of this magnitude, not least among them that I need a massive undertaking to keep me sufficiently busy and distracted while the love of my life is in the dreaded sandbox. Even with four dresses, a sporran, place cards and table centerpieces, and whatever else strikes my fancy I may run out of projects. I’m a very efficient worker, always have been, and nine months is a long time for me to be productive. At the rate I’m going, my dress alone won’t take more than a month.

2) But it’s SO MUCH WORK!

Not to me, it isn’t. I love sewing and painting and sculpting and beading and making things. The act of creation for me isn’t work, it’s like breathing. I need to be able to make something new to keep sane. It’s part of what makes me who I am. When I’m working on a new project, the more complicated and difficult, the better; the less I have to think about what I’m doing, it just comes into being like I’m being used as a medium for creation.

3) But why would you MAKE something you can BUY?

….Why would I buy something I can make? That way I get to enjoy the process of making it, not just the one day I get to wear it. (Also, why would I have a dress I only can wear once whereas I can make one that is both bride-like and more versatile!) Not to mention I have a very specific vision in my head of what I want to look like walking down the aisle, what I want my Orion to see, and it would cost an inordinate amount of money to get that custom made because I am certainly not going to find it on a rack at David’s Bridal. However, if I make it, I only have to pay for the supplies—which although they may be expensive, the fabric itself is significantly less expensive than a custom-made dress. 

4) But a wedding dress is SO IMPORTANT! Why risk it? What if you make a mistake?

Yes, the dress is important. Culturally, I get that. I get that getting married is a huge flippin deal in modern society, and on some levels I agree that it should be, but a dress is a dress is a dress. Yes, I want to be beautiful and gorgeous on the day I get handfasted to my soulmate in the eyes of the gods and everyone, but the clothes don’t make the person—I do. I make me. So when I’m saying “I do,” or whatever it is we decide to say, I want to look like me. As for making a mistake, that’s all part of the process. If something unintended works itself into the design, I’ll work around it as I always do to make something even better than what I first imagined. This is me, not wearing my *worried* face.

5) Your wedding ceremony is not your own personal art show!

Really? Now we’re just being hypocritical. It’s a day that’s all about me, but I’m not supposed to show off my talents or cleverness or creations, I’m just supposed to stand there and smile and look pretty. Modern society makes such a huge deal about the Bride getting everything she wants on her perfect magical wedding day, and yet my wanting to *make* my dress is somehow going too far? I’m not trying to show off what I can do. Everyone who knows me, knows what I can do. My sole goal in wanting to create my dress and my bridesmaids’ dresses is to bring as much joy as possible to all those involved with completely unique and beautiful clothes for a very special day. It’s not like I’m going to be hanging my paintings all over the place. Hells, I would rather the finished products be so good that no one can even tell they were made by me.

So that’s my rant. The primary complaints I’ve been fielding (again, love you Mom!) and my rebuttal. I mean, am I crazy for wanting to make my own dress? Or even three more? I think it will be fun and relaxing and sufficiently distracting, especially with little kitty Hera trying to help by forever stalking my scissors…or sleeping in the box my Charmed DVDs came in like any good familiar.