18 May 2011

I'm An Idiot

I can be really, really stupid sometimes. I can also be a colossally bad friend. Last night was one of the unfortunate occasions when both my idiocy and my selfishness combined, potentially ruining a friendship. I feel absolutely terrible about it, but there isn’t anything I can do to make it up to her, and on top of that we graduate in three days. Any assurances of “it won’t happen again” are therefore mostly meaningless as there won’t be much of an opportunity. I’m just such an idiot. I tried apologizing this morning, but she’s not talking to me (which I completely deserve). What sucks the most is that she’s one of my roommates, and so the last few days we have together will be spent in bitter, awkward silence.

Unless she decides to talk to me long enough to let me squeak out an “I’m sorry, I’m a selfish dumbass but I love you,” that is. I’m hoping she will. I don’t want our friendship to end this way.

This week is so hectic. We have to wake up at 0430 every morning to have breakfast formation at 0455, and then we have drill for the various parades for several hours following breakfast. The time after we finish drilling (usually around 1000 or 1100) we’re running around trying to pack, close out our rooms, or out-process from the academy. Graduating as a week long process kinda sucks.

I still don’t have a whole lot to say. I promise I’ll post something meaningful after I graduate and actually have a few minutes to breathe, center, and let go.

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