Still Trying

It's a little sappy, but I was suffering from severe sleep loss when I wrote it a couple weeks ago. While cleaning out my room in the packing process, I re-discovered the notebook containing this one, as well as several notebooks dating all the way back to high school and middle school. I'll be combing through the lyrics and poetry I wrote back then and posting the best ones (and probably some of the most ridiculous ones) here. Enjoy!

I don’t know how to tell you,

And now I’ll never have the chance.

It’s all dead and over with,

Can’t even call us “friends”

(though I’d like to be.)

The scent lingers in the air,

The heaviness of words unsaid,

And I’m the only one who feels

All the pressure caving in

(won’t you please listen?)

You were everything I wanted,

And I would have given up anything for you,

If you had only asked me to

            (You didn’t want me.)

I don’t know what to call it,

The almost thing we almost had,

And we kept it up for so long, that

The pain was real in the end

            (at least, for me.)

You said that you weren’t jealous,

You said you didn’t care at all,

So why won’t you even talk to me,

Like I’m some empty, ugly shell?

            (is that what you think?)

You’re still everything I’ve looked for,

And I would give up everyone else for you

If you said you wanted me to,

That you still wanted me, too.

I’m starting my new life now; I’ve got

A new car and a brand new tattoo.

And when everyone is around, I

Pretend I don’t miss you, but

You’re always in the back of my mind,

You’re the dream I keep in the dead of night,

And you’ll never know, you’ll never know

How hard I tried (not to love you.)